The Single Life: No Dating, No Stress

Heart-black-iconIn the early 2000s, a few international people over Yahoo chatrooms had one misconception concerning American women. They were surprised at my single status because of the international stereotype that American women were constantly dating.

Basically, we use guys like tissues and can’t stand one second of the single life. The stereotype might be true for some or most of my countrywomen. I remember coming across a few that went guy hopping until they eventually married, but that’s not me.

I’ve never been much for dating. When I was in my 20s, I kept an eye out for possible date worthy men, but never desperately pushed the dating agenda. Being single never concerned me.

As an outsider looking in (I do a lot of people watching), dating is a crazy game. Both participants dress in their best clothes – or casual business depending on the dating activity – and they adopt a foreign persona to impress a possible life mate.

If the guy seems reasonably intelligent and knowledgable about current affairs, I’ll give him a shot. If his repertoire of conversation is constricted to sports, I’ll be bored out of my mind. I don’t think it’s so much to ask for a well-groomed guy who’s a good conversationalist.

Unfortunately, the only way I get an intelligent conversation is traveling outside my little hole-in-the-wall to a mass gathering of academics and scholars. An intelligent conversation is the main reason I go to conferences to deliver papers. I’m so desperate for discussions on the Anti-Conservative message in the television show Supernatural, that I will solder through an incredibly uncomfortable speaking gig in front of a decent sized audience.

Now I’m sitting comfortable in my 30s and romantic relationships are the last thing on my mind. This past weekend, I visited my grandmother in the nursing home. I make the half hour drive most weekends to be good company and let my grandparents know how I’m doing.

Since grandma has been in the nursing home since January with no options of leaving, her amusing everyday banter has dwindled to amusing arguments she had with another old lady about grandma’s shinny shoes. Grandma being MY grandma, decided to throw me a curveball.

An aid entered the room to assist my grandmother’s roommate. While the privacy curtain was closed, grandma leaned toward me and said, “That’s H. He dresses me in the morning.”

grandma-iconI replied, “That’s nice,” thinking it’s refreshing there’s a guy who doesn’t mind dressing my grandma. Lady parts tend to scare off most American men.

“He’s a really nice guy,” continued grandma.

“Okay?” I wasn’t quite sure where she was going with this.

“Say hi to him once in a while.” Then she turns back to the TV.

“Okay?” I repeated while I was left completely confused.

Ten minutes later, I figured out my grandma was trying to set me up. The reasoning was sound especially when she was crying about holding great grandbabies near the end of January.

I feel like she’s putting all this on me. Like she doesn’t have four other grandkids. Three of them are in serious relationships and one is engaged. I hope she gave them a great grandbaby ear full too, but I doubt it. As the oldest of her grandchildren, she must think that I’m the only one that can produce the sacred senior citizen status great grandbaby. Apparently, one of her friends was lording it over her before the nursing home stay. Her friend appears to have MANY great grandbabies.

Either way, I found her hook up attempt funny and posted the experience as a Facebook status. About four people thought it was likable (one of them being a cousin). Another of the four commented that I should go for it.
I know I’m always preaching about stereotypes and never judge a book by its cover, but I highly doubt the aid who’s nice to grandmas is a MENSA candidate. He didn’t look like he was a heavy reader, nor did he look like he was knowledgable about current affairs. The poor man didn’t even look Liberal. I commented to my friend stating that he didn’t look like he could keep up with me in a conversation.

She persisted. I reiterated my no three more times and told her that American football was legalized assault and battery before she gave up. (Football made it’s way into the conversation because liking the sport is an egregious crime in my book. She happened to like it).

The entire instance had me annoyed. What was once amusing became annoying. I know my friends and grandmother mean well. If I was anyone else but me, I probably would go for it. People have a hard time understanding I’m not desperate for a guy, to be involved, or to be married.

As I thought about it more, the more I realized dating and romantic relationships was a chore. I would have to find time to meet a guy, which would eat into my coveted reading, writing, gaming, and watching TV. Then there’s dressing up trying to find something impressive, classy, and appealing in my limited wardrobe. (I don’t do sexy).

Scrutinizing every inch of my appearance trying to find something he might find objectionable.

I’m an upfront person. Innuendoes and “little hints” people use during dates go over my head. I prefer laying my cards on the table because it saves time. For someone like me, I’d rather do other things with my time besides playing a tedious dating game.

Honestly, if there were any guys out there that wouldn’t mind me wearing jeans and my Edgar Allen Poe t-shirt on a date, that would be awesome. Unfortunately, I haven’t found a guy that would be comfortable with that much less a guy who would be comfortable with my upfront manner. Limiting my personality is too much work. Besides, most people go on dates with the hope the budding relationship will end in marriage. Why wear clothes reserved for special occasions or work, pretend that American football is awesome, or reality TV is the best entertainment since the dawn of colorized sitcoms?  Shouldn’t the person know who the date really is on the inside?

Girls-Red-Dress-iconMost Americans and some internationals must realize there are happily single people in this country. A person can throw a virtual baseball on the world wide web and hit a blog or article giving reasons why there are happy single people.  Single people simply LIKE being single for their own reasons. Reasons that are no one’s business but their own. There’s not a blanket stereotypical purpose to the choice. It’s a choice. People should respect that.

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