Job Rejection: The good, the bad, and the depressing…

This past week I had a job interview and I was rejected.  While the rejection wasn’t done in one damning sentence (it was a very nice rejection), the feelings that followed didn’t change.

The job listing was unexpected nor did I see it on an actual job list.  The employee before decided to quit three weeks before school started.  I happened to hear it through word of mouth.

Resume-iconI updated my information through the county job server.  Yet, I also sent my cover letter an resume to the head of District Human Resources.  It was a move I’ve never done before.  I was desperate and the worst the head of HR could do was trash the e-mail.  Fortunately, she didn’t do that and forwarded it to the right people.  A day later, I was called for an interview.

This was my first interview for a full-time job with salary and benefits, which is fast becoming a myth it’s so rare.  Sometimes, I think winning the lottery is more common in this economy.

The interviewers were familiar to me yet I still had mild nervous jitters.  If the interviewers were strangers, I would have been a mess.

I was half an hour early to the interview.  There was an errand I needed to run and I was completed it faster than anticipated.  It was fine.  I chatted with the other secretaries and tried to get my stomach to settle.

I was dressed in my best business attire wearing my lucky bracelet.  My bracelet was out of place with what I wore.  Yet, it was lucky and as mom said, “It’s whimsical.”  I’m very much a whimsical person.

Before my stomach decided to run away and join the circus, I was called into the office.  I can’t remember if I smiled or looked like I wanted to faint.

They had a copy of my resume in front of them with a few placement errors they likely never noticed.  The “Objective” located glaringly at the top just under my name and contact information.  These days, an objective on a resume is redundantly passé since the cover letter already states everything…  My cover letter was no where in sight.

The introductory questions were skipped since they already knew me.  They went straight to coworker chemistry and hypothetical situation problem solving.  I answered each question honestly (some answers – mom would later inform me – were naive in their honestness) and used some of my experience to help answer questions.

As I shook hands and left the office, I felt good about the interview.  In retrospect, I knew I didn’t get the job.  I pushed the feeling aside in my determination to be positive.

The position was for the Administrative Associate to an Assistant Principal.  The AP I would “supposedly” work under was there.  While I did well in the interview, I knew the ultimate decision would be based on personality.  Specifically, how the AP would see us working together.  Would we clash, would my personality eclipse him, or would we work well together?

The Principal said she would call the next day.  I knew she wouldn’t since I was helping out with Registration.  Why waste the call?

I didn’t find out the next day.  It was the day after.agt-runit-icon

The Principal knew why I was there waiting for her and welcomed me into her office.  Before, I was waiting my turn with my stomach in knots, yet I had this premonition that I didn’t get the job.

It was a preposterous premonition since I’ve been working at the District for four years.  I’m hard working, intelligent, and a fast thinker.  They know me.  Why wouldn’t I get the job?

Unfortunately, the premonition was correct.

No one wants to be rejected especially for a job.  Even though the way the Principal rejected me was awesome.  The woman’s a rock star.  Sure, I was rejected and I’m a little depressed about it.  I would have been worse if she hadn’t complimented and given me hope at the same time.

I know I’ll get a job yet rejection, no matter how nice, still sucks.

It’s not that the Principal or AP think I’m lacking.  I was one of nine strong applicants and they were still deciding between two people when I received my rejection.

Yet, rejection is worse when bills, family, and a rusting car are on the brain.  Worse, I was informed by the nonprofit contracted by the Federal Government taking care of my student loans that I’m accruing interest per day.  We’re not talking cents or a few dollars, it’s $15 and change.  Since I haven’t been paying the interest because…you know…other immediate monthly bills, my loans are growing bigger.

I’m on an Income Based Rate (IBR) plan that says I don’t have to pay anything since I have very little money.  They still expect me to come up with money to cover the $15+ dollar a day interest.

Graduate-female-iconThey broke me.  I cried.  A rejection plus a reminder that I’m making so little that I can’t pay that stupid interest made me feel inhuman, worthless, an utterly needless member of society.

So I came to a conclusion.  I’ll get my PhD, accrue more debt, one of these days get a full-time State job to qualify for their stupid “forgiveness” program, and the Federal Government with their contracted loan sharks can kiss my tibus. 

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One thought on “Job Rejection: The good, the bad, and the depressing…

  1. Al says:

    35 years of rejection — after an advanced degree, 3 yrs. Regular Army — I know how you feel. Best Rx for low dopamine levels is chocolate or 30 yr old single malt Scotch.

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